I'm feeling weird referring to all these adults in
my life by their first names only. Josh was fine, because of the age thing I
guess, and because I've never called him anything else. Tyrone was a stretch,
but the casualness of our meeting and the way he treated me like an adult made
it feel ok. Rosa I can work with because we've had a smile-at-each-other
relationship for most of the year, so at least I feel like I have some kind of
license. But Steve? Ronald?? These are adult people. These are grownups.
The part of me that is still a 13-year-old new to
Sidwell is kicking me under the table and frantically whispering "What are
you doing??? Don't you know you need to call them Mr. and Mrs.?? Come on,
Celeste! You have to be formal around here!"
There's the instinct to use Mr. and Mrs. that comes
from my Texan mother, who taught me it's good to assume formality until the
grownup is inevitably charmed by you and says, "please, call me
Louise."
There's the Quaker idea that since none of us is
more valuable or important than another, we should all just call each other by
our first names. Seems logical. Also, since I went to a very Quaker elementary
school, I spent the first twelve years of my life in Lisa's class, turning in
my homework to Susie, and visiting the principal, Tom. That's a reflex it's
been hard to break.
There's the screw-the-hierarchy/patriarchy mindset
that tells me that all of these people are just people, and it's ridiculous to
qualify them based on their age, gender, and marital situation.
But mostly, I don't want to disrespect anyone. Mr.
Ford, if you read this, I don't really think of you as Ronald. I will never
think of you as anyone but Mr. Ford. But how I am I supposed to put you, Mr.
Ford, right next to Josh, who I think would probably object to being Mr.
Shwartz?
Is it more equalizing and de-personalizing to call
everybody by their first names? Or does it just fail to acknowledge that I have
vastly different relationships with different people in this community?
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